What are the key words for femininity?
Key words for femininity are softness, tenderness, elegance, compassion, caring, graceful movements, sensuality and sexuality.
Once upon a time, when I was undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy, my therapist asked me: ,,Who are the three women who are models of femininity for you?”
I mentioned three women ( I didn’t know that then, but now I know) who have a very strong male principle, because I actually lived by the male principle.
In each of us there is animus and anima according to Jung. In each of us there is a male and a female principle. And it is a big problem when a woman starts to live according to the male principle.
According to energy psychology, the center of our femininity is the second chakra located 4 cm below the belly button. It is the center of our permission that we give ourselves to be completely relaxed and to enjoy ourselves, to enjoy the touches, to enjoy the bites, to enjoy the taste, to create beauty around and in ourselves.
In women, this center is built somewhere in the period of puberty and it is the main one for building a sense of personal value and for building some light, sophisticated and fine relationships.
What is the main problem of the second chakra and why does a woman actually step on the male principle?
The woman steps on the male principle due to feelings of guilt. Namely, the women who come to me for therapy are mostly women who have a strong male principle and women who feel very guilty when they fulfill their desires, their true desires. Many of them don’t really know what their true desires are, and they should, of course, reach those desires. But many of them who know what their desires are, however, avoid fulfilling them; or when they would fulfill them or start to fulfill them, they do so very timidly and they have a very pronounced sense of guilt.
Why does this transition from the female principle to the male principle occur in women, and why does a woman step into the male principle?
First of all, it is a matter of constitution, that, genetics, heritage or energetic heritage that we carry in our body. Then it’s a matter of upbringing or a matter entirely of which parent a little girl looked up to and why. Secondly, it is a matter of belief, because sometimes a woman simply avoids living the feminine principle because she thinks that it is inappropriate, that it is not good enough, that she will not achieve adequate success in life, or that it does not provide her with enough acceptance or survival.
In fact, the main reason and the main trauma that causes a woman to forget her feminine principle is the trauma of abandonment that happened, not even in childhood or in the first 5 years of life, but in any period of life. Then the trauma of humiliation or the trauma of some shame or humiliation because of which the woman has disgust for her own sexuality or because of which she actually avoids showing herself in the right light.
Due to the overwhelming need to be accepted, she completely changes herself and becomes convinced that she needs to be something else or different in order to be accepted. But, a woman should actually be a woman.
Why should a woman be a woman? Because if there was no female principle this world would surely collapse.
What is actually the male principle and what is the female principle?
The male principle represents strength, building, power, action. The feminine principle also implies action, but a woman does it much more gently and more sophisticated. A woman can also run a huge company, but unlike a man she does it elegantly.
The male principle enables survival, but the female principle gives us the art of living. The female principle gives us tenderness, the female principle brings colors into life and it is the woman who should give the scale of emotions, which are warmth, understanding, compassion, love, care, etc.
What kind of woman is she who stepped on the male principle? She is a perfectionist, she is very intolerant of lightness and some, shall I say, tranquility/relaxation of other women, real women, she considers laziness and deeply criticizes it. Men feel very uncomfortable next to such women because this woman is very prone to criticism.
A man doesn’t like his wife beating him. It is the male principle. When he raises his voice, you are calm, he raises his voice again, you are calm again. So the feminine principle can calm even the biggest savage.
What does a real woman look like? The real woman is one who laughs, who has graceful movements, who knows how to enjoy herself. Femininity is not acquired at hairdressers or in hair salons or in beauty salons where you will spend a lot of money and a lot of time on beautification. I would recommend that you do it more from the inside, that is, work on your femininity, work on the second chakra, the center of your relaxation and surrender to the charms of life, and give yourself permission to really try to create beauty within yourself, and thus you will also create beauty outside of yourself. And from that all the magic in this world originates, from the feminine principle.